Seeking inspiration daily as a pain clinician

When I finally arrived at my decision to be a pain specialist, it was after much hard work and considerations on a personal front. However, many of my professional colleagues had their hesitations for me : "Are you crazy?"; "Why would you do this to yourself"; "Why would you want to listen to suffering all day?"; 

Their doubts for me, made me seek out the deepest reason to continue down this path in clinical care - I desire to be a pain specialist for as long as I seek inspiration from my patients, everyday of my practice..

I wrote this poem in the Spring of 2014, and now it is stuck right above my work station. 

Its a daily ritual now…or even a prayer. Everyday, after I fill my cup with hot water for tea, I read this, reflect on it for a few minutes before I begin my day. It keeps me engaged on this purpose, this drive that brings me to work daily and do this job that I do consider to be a great privilege. 

May I remember this….

May I remember this for you, 
with you, 
but may I know that I can never carry any, for you.

May I be moved yet resilient,
for our collective struggles, 
May we discover that curiosity, 
That lost trail that rejuvenates every time…

May I be the rock, 
timeless and enduring at once, 
May I learn in that silence, that we breathe reassured...

May I be the canvas,
to paint, spill and pour 
May I also be there when it peels off and withers away...

May I be the sieve, 
to filter, sort and reflect 
May I see it different but never know more or know better.

May I have a moment of light, 
That I share with you in privilege ..
That sense of familiar with you, 
a stranger,
That makes it all worth at once, for ever…

May be it would be a scavenger hunt,
I with a list and you discover,
May we find all that we are looking for...

And as we part, 
With our shades on,
May I know that humbling truth
that the honor has always been mine - to nurture and to grow,
In those moments of light, darkness and rainbows…